Good For Nothing

so, where to begin?

let's start where the problem begins. the whole last weekend. i went home that weekend 'cuz i had to go back to celebrate my brother's and my sister's birthday (not to mention, Vince's bday was on Monday too). anyway, the original plan was to do some studying over the weekend back at home 'cuz i had a test on Tuesday. that plan didn't really materialize.

some of you know that i went home early Saturday morning, running on 2hrs sleep. i think i mentioned it in my last real entry. so i'll just fast forward to Sunday when i got back. honestly, i don't even know what the hell i did on Sunday night. just a blur, all i know is that i wasted valuable time. but i kept on thinking, ok it's cool, i still have all of Monday to study, no problem.

so Monday rolls along. i was so lucky that my notetaker was so gracious. actually, it was really so kind what she did. she sent me all her notes that she made on the first 3 chapters we were suppose to read in the textbook. for no reason. she sent me a msg on MSN telling me that she emailed me her notes. it was really shocking and such a nice gesture. she sent them to me in case i didn't get all the readings done. what an awesome notetaker i have. and i'm lucky enough to have her in two of my classes this term. :)

to further my problems, my printer decided to go all wacko on me, so i was tried to reinstall the files and drivers for it. only i kept on encountering this prompt telling me that the driver to uninstall the printer wasn't found. so that means i have like no way to reinstall the damn printer (at least i think so). so since the printer decided to bail on me, i asked Sharon if she had a printer and if she did, if she could print up some notes for me. she did have a printer and she printed up my notes for me. thank you Sharon! :) haha this is the 2nd time she's printed something for me 'cuz of my printer malfunction! do you remember the first time i asked you Sharon? :P

this is where i start to get stupid. i cook something for myself to eat for dinner, and i plop myself infront of my computer and watch something i downloaded (whatever it was). i never study when i'm eating, for some reason i just can't do that. so yeah, that took like an hr.

then i went downstairs in hopes to get some studying done. nope, i had to turn on the tv to see what was on, and study while listening to the tv. whaddya know, Friends is on. the one where Phoebe meets Mike's parents. alright, after that was over. had an hour to study. was kinda productive. Betty was kinda watching Degrassi, while reading a Time magazine.

9pm. Monday Night Football. i don't even remember who was playing..oh wait..Carolina Panthers and Green Bay Packers. ha. yeah. i watched that and studied during the commercials. yeah, what a great idea b.

yeah, so i'm such a dumbass. i pay for the consequences. i wrote the test on Tuesday and got my mark back today. didn't do too well. let's just leave at that. i need to make up for it on the next 3 tests. this is a great big kick in the ass for me. this is a great big wake up call, get my ass back into shape. no more slacking. refrain from the temptations of media.

*sigh*

seriously, what the hell is wrong with my motivation, my drive..me?

anyway, after all that, i've been in a pretty crummy mood for the rest of the day. especially after Alpha. i was pretty tired too, i kept falling asleep in my Psychology of Education class too. the prof is pretty boring. it was like she sucked the life energy out of me for the day. i'm surprised i was able to stay awake during Introduction to Human Sexuality class. but then again, it doesn't help that the prof is pretty interesting, her stories are hilarious, and um..she showed naked pictures of ppl having sex to illustrate her points..or positions she was teaching us.

but yeah, went and tried out Alpha tonight. Alpha is a cell group for CCF, and it's basically for Christians, new Christians, and Christian seekers. we had dinner, did some worship songs, watched a video by Nicky Gumbel, and then we had dessert and a discussion after where we were able to ask all sorts of questions about Christianity. the hot topics were the Bible, why Jesus died for us, and what the purpose of life was?

we weren't able to answer all questions 'cuz well, we don't really know all the "right" answers. some of them we can only speculate. i thought Alpha was pretty interesting, so i think i'll be going to them more often, besides, i don't have much going for me on Thursday nights anyway. hopefully next time, i don't fall asleep during the video. :S

after Alpha, i just kinda plopped myself infront of the tv and watched ER. i just felt really, dead, disappointed, empty, sad, and alone. i just felt like...argh!

i don't even know why i'm still awake.

stupid..get some sleep.