I Surrender..
..all to you, all to you.
so from the last entry. it's time for what?
well, here's the back story, & i've blogged about it all before, so let's take a look back in retrospect. i actually don't know where i should even begin. but maybe i'll start where everything started to make an impact.
so i've mentioned before that i didn't start going to church until the summer of 2002 when i was a part of the 3 Scoops softball team in MCBCSL. that's when i started to actively go to church every Sunday, rather than just drop in every once in a while. at first, i went to learn about God, just to see what Christianity is all about. to me at that point, Christianity was interesting 'cuz i always viewed myself as a person that has a very open mind to anything, so i was willing to learn about this religion 'cuz my friends were into it.
so after, i've attended for awhile, maybe a couple years, i started to feel like i wasn't going there to learn anymore. no, that's not accurate. i was still there to learn, but in the back of my mind, i think i was also really there for the ppl. i liked the ppl, i liked to hang around them, they were my friends. not really a good reason to go to church..i practically thought of it as a social place for me to meet friends.
i came to university, & i was always exposed to UWCCF through Jeff & Ben, but i never attended regularly until about 2yrs ago..i think. but yeah, i normally went whenever they invited me to come out or i would drop by to see what's up after badminton club on Fridays.
i made the decision to attend UWCCF regularly 2yrs ago, but i don't know what my motives were. was it to also get to know ppl? seeing that i didn't have very many friends in my program. but, i don't know. i think i was also there to continue to learn as well. it was always a fascination to see Christians so in love with God, & i was just wondering..how? why?
but i don't think i made much progress in terms of my faith until this academic year, 2005-2006, ironically my last. in a side story, i find it so odd that i make more friends, or talk to more ppl at the end of the academic term when i had the entire term to get to know them. must be the finals craze or something. no one wants to study so they talk to each other. but i guess in a sense it's especially harder since this time, i know i'm not coming back as a student, but only as a occassional visitor. :S but anyway, back to the story.
i believe what got me on the right path was a simple invitation to attend Alpha by Eric. really it was an email out of the blue asking if i was free on Thursday & if i wanted to go check out Alpha. so, was kinda like, mm, sure why not, it wouldn't hurt to try it out. if i didn't like it, i didn't have to go again. but it turns out to be a real eye-opener for me. the talks by Nicky Gumbel were really interesting to me & i guess they really spoke to me as well & just really sparked the curiousity inside of me. the setting for Alpha was really comfortable & intimate, i didn't feel "stupid" by asking the questions i had. i was also not afraid to challenge some of the answers that were given too. Alpha was a really good experience for me & i guess it really carried over to this term.
also in the past year, i've finally started going to church here in Waterloo. i never went to church in my previous 5yrs save for maybe 2-3 times at KWCAC. i didn't really like the service over at KWCAC, they just didn't really speak out to me. but this year i started to go to CFC & just fell in love with it. i liked the style, i liked the speaker, & i liked how the msg was delivered. it was an enjoyable experience & i was able to learn from them as well.
but yeah, i think what really opened my eyes are the obstacles that i've had to endure while i was here at the University of Waterloo. i've been at the lowest of lows, & the highest of highs. i believe that i'm still climbing on the highs. i feel really good in most aspects of my life right now, & i've been truly blessed to have had the year i've been having. 2006 has been memorable in its young "life".
most of us know what happened in my first 2yrs here in UW. those years just weren't very pleasant. those are the years i would like to forget, but then again, it was the start of my journey really. i guess subconsciously after those times, i turned to God by attending church. it was like a cry for help, to save me from my problems. by God's grace, He granted me a 2nd chance at UW in the General Arts program (i was previously in the Science & Busines, Co-op program). so i was able to go back, & start, practically anew at UW. really thank God for the 2nd chance & i obviously took full advantage of that seeing i'm finally graduating this year.
but i guess during the next couple years, i hadn't really been searching for God as hard as i should've been. i just knew He was there, didn't really do anything to really seek a relationship with Him.
but yeah, then Alpha came, & yeah, i've already mentioned it. one thing though. i remember that at one of the last Alpha meets, we were praying about something that was still lingering in our bodies, like old injuries or something that haven't healed up yet. so i told everyone about my right ankle i sprained while playing volleyball. Chung prayed for it & y'know what..no more ankle pain! i never noticed it until Chung asked me a couple months later. how awesome is that?!
so yeah, i think, it was really this term that really just, everything was overwhelming. i was praying on a regular basis, i was reading the Bible, finished reading Genesis, Matthew, & on the book of John right now. going to CFC was a lift as well & their sermons were really thought-provoking & really made me want to practice what they taught, what the Word of God taught.
i've had my ups & downs this term as well. downs is that, this term hasn't been all that i thought it would be. academically, it was dismal compared to my last couple terms. i guess i slacked off this term, which is really not cool. i think i could've done a lot better, but i continually prayed that God wouldn't allow me to fall into too deep a hole to the point where i wouldn't be able to pass. i really got a scare in Dark Side of Sex class 'cuz i had to get a 42% to pass the class. when i walked out of the final test, i didn't feel too confident on how i did on it. i was really worried & i continued to pray for it. turns out, i got more than what i expected. ended up with a 63% on that test which is much better than anticpated & a lot more than what i needed to pass the course!
the ups. it was the chats with ppl. i really got to know a few ppl this term, & i really cherish my friendships with them. even the ones that i just started up in the past couple weeks. it's been really fun, & it's gonna be tough to leave Waterloo. i think i'll really miss the ppl i've met at Waterloo more than anything.
furthermore, this one was amazing. my family has been pushing me this term to really look for a job & have one secured before i finished the term. but for myself, i didn't really want to look hard for a job. i just didn't want to do anything after school for a while. but they were pretty persistent & always checking up on me, asking if i've been looking for a job. they were even looking for jobs FOR me, in which i applied to some of them. i think i only applied to like 4 jobs or something. i don't really remember.
but anyway, i only heard back from one & got an interview. it was for Canadian Tire for this position called Flex Billing Representative, which is basically accounts receivable/reconciliation stuff. i was really nervous for the interview & i asked a few ppl to pray for me & the interview. i also prayed for the interview. so the interview came along, & when i walked into the interview room, i saw that 3 ppl would be interviewing me. so i was kinda like..whoa! y'know? it was 3 ppl! but the staffing specialist reassured me not to get intimidated & that the interview would be very laid back & answer any questions that i can. told me not to worry if i couldn't answer some of the questions they asked 'cuz they know that my work experience was limited since i only worked in the summers. what was even more cool was the fact that they were considerate of my hearing disability, & told me not to hesitate to ask them to repeat questions if i didn't hear. man, that just blew my mind, i was so impressed by that, i knew right then that i wanted to work for them. i came out of the interview feeling really good, i thought that they liked me & everything. i was confident, & i really thank everyone that prayed for my interview. God really answered those prayers.
so, since i wanted that job, i prayed that i would get it obviously. i wanted it. if Canadian Tire was where God wanted me to be, i would get the job right? well, guess what? God wanted me to be there. got the call on the following Tuesday afternoon. i was ecstatic, called my mom, & emailed the rest of my family tellin' them the good news. it was awesome, God really answered my prayers for this, & it really showed me that He was in control at all times. i mean, how lucky am i. i don't know anyone that has applied to a minimal number of jobs, gets one interview, & then gets the job. that's almost unheard of. God is good! :)
so, i think after all these various events, just looking back in retrospect. i see that, i was never the one in control, it was all God behind the scenes. so today, April 14, 2006 - on Good Friday, as it turns out, i stepped down, i surrendered. the Benson you knew in the last 24yrs prior to this day is dead. he's no more. i'm born anew, as a follower of Christ. Jesus IS my personal saviour.
Jesus died on the cross for me, to save me, to wash away all my sins, just so that i can have a relationship with God & live in eternity. i am a sinner, & i acknowledge that. i pray that God will continuously forgive me for all the sins i commit, & help me to become a better person in turn.
i just wanna give my thanks to everyone out there, to all my brothers & sisters in Christ who have prayed for me, for this day to come. i wanna thank all those who i've had chats with regarding Christianity & have helped me with my walk, my journey & helped me to understand God better when i was confused.
no more sitting on the fence, no more uncertainties of where my faith lies. i can truly say that i am CHRISTIAN! :)
it's about freaking time huh! ;P
it's been a joyous day. :) it's been a GOOD FRIDAY! :D *cheese, i know - peace sign* :D
so from the last entry. it's time for what?
well, here's the back story, & i've blogged about it all before, so let's take a look back in retrospect. i actually don't know where i should even begin. but maybe i'll start where everything started to make an impact.
so i've mentioned before that i didn't start going to church until the summer of 2002 when i was a part of the 3 Scoops softball team in MCBCSL. that's when i started to actively go to church every Sunday, rather than just drop in every once in a while. at first, i went to learn about God, just to see what Christianity is all about. to me at that point, Christianity was interesting 'cuz i always viewed myself as a person that has a very open mind to anything, so i was willing to learn about this religion 'cuz my friends were into it.
so after, i've attended for awhile, maybe a couple years, i started to feel like i wasn't going there to learn anymore. no, that's not accurate. i was still there to learn, but in the back of my mind, i think i was also really there for the ppl. i liked the ppl, i liked to hang around them, they were my friends. not really a good reason to go to church..i practically thought of it as a social place for me to meet friends.
i came to university, & i was always exposed to UWCCF through Jeff & Ben, but i never attended regularly until about 2yrs ago..i think. but yeah, i normally went whenever they invited me to come out or i would drop by to see what's up after badminton club on Fridays.
i made the decision to attend UWCCF regularly 2yrs ago, but i don't know what my motives were. was it to also get to know ppl? seeing that i didn't have very many friends in my program. but, i don't know. i think i was also there to continue to learn as well. it was always a fascination to see Christians so in love with God, & i was just wondering..how? why?
but i don't think i made much progress in terms of my faith until this academic year, 2005-2006, ironically my last. in a side story, i find it so odd that i make more friends, or talk to more ppl at the end of the academic term when i had the entire term to get to know them. must be the finals craze or something. no one wants to study so they talk to each other. but i guess in a sense it's especially harder since this time, i know i'm not coming back as a student, but only as a occassional visitor. :S but anyway, back to the story.
i believe what got me on the right path was a simple invitation to attend Alpha by Eric. really it was an email out of the blue asking if i was free on Thursday & if i wanted to go check out Alpha. so, was kinda like, mm, sure why not, it wouldn't hurt to try it out. if i didn't like it, i didn't have to go again. but it turns out to be a real eye-opener for me. the talks by Nicky Gumbel were really interesting to me & i guess they really spoke to me as well & just really sparked the curiousity inside of me. the setting for Alpha was really comfortable & intimate, i didn't feel "stupid" by asking the questions i had. i was also not afraid to challenge some of the answers that were given too. Alpha was a really good experience for me & i guess it really carried over to this term.
also in the past year, i've finally started going to church here in Waterloo. i never went to church in my previous 5yrs save for maybe 2-3 times at KWCAC. i didn't really like the service over at KWCAC, they just didn't really speak out to me. but this year i started to go to CFC & just fell in love with it. i liked the style, i liked the speaker, & i liked how the msg was delivered. it was an enjoyable experience & i was able to learn from them as well.
but yeah, i think what really opened my eyes are the obstacles that i've had to endure while i was here at the University of Waterloo. i've been at the lowest of lows, & the highest of highs. i believe that i'm still climbing on the highs. i feel really good in most aspects of my life right now, & i've been truly blessed to have had the year i've been having. 2006 has been memorable in its young "life".
most of us know what happened in my first 2yrs here in UW. those years just weren't very pleasant. those are the years i would like to forget, but then again, it was the start of my journey really. i guess subconsciously after those times, i turned to God by attending church. it was like a cry for help, to save me from my problems. by God's grace, He granted me a 2nd chance at UW in the General Arts program (i was previously in the Science & Busines, Co-op program). so i was able to go back, & start, practically anew at UW. really thank God for the 2nd chance & i obviously took full advantage of that seeing i'm finally graduating this year.
but i guess during the next couple years, i hadn't really been searching for God as hard as i should've been. i just knew He was there, didn't really do anything to really seek a relationship with Him.
but yeah, then Alpha came, & yeah, i've already mentioned it. one thing though. i remember that at one of the last Alpha meets, we were praying about something that was still lingering in our bodies, like old injuries or something that haven't healed up yet. so i told everyone about my right ankle i sprained while playing volleyball. Chung prayed for it & y'know what..no more ankle pain! i never noticed it until Chung asked me a couple months later. how awesome is that?!
so yeah, i think, it was really this term that really just, everything was overwhelming. i was praying on a regular basis, i was reading the Bible, finished reading Genesis, Matthew, & on the book of John right now. going to CFC was a lift as well & their sermons were really thought-provoking & really made me want to practice what they taught, what the Word of God taught.
i've had my ups & downs this term as well. downs is that, this term hasn't been all that i thought it would be. academically, it was dismal compared to my last couple terms. i guess i slacked off this term, which is really not cool. i think i could've done a lot better, but i continually prayed that God wouldn't allow me to fall into too deep a hole to the point where i wouldn't be able to pass. i really got a scare in Dark Side of Sex class 'cuz i had to get a 42% to pass the class. when i walked out of the final test, i didn't feel too confident on how i did on it. i was really worried & i continued to pray for it. turns out, i got more than what i expected. ended up with a 63% on that test which is much better than anticpated & a lot more than what i needed to pass the course!
the ups. it was the chats with ppl. i really got to know a few ppl this term, & i really cherish my friendships with them. even the ones that i just started up in the past couple weeks. it's been really fun, & it's gonna be tough to leave Waterloo. i think i'll really miss the ppl i've met at Waterloo more than anything.
furthermore, this one was amazing. my family has been pushing me this term to really look for a job & have one secured before i finished the term. but for myself, i didn't really want to look hard for a job. i just didn't want to do anything after school for a while. but they were pretty persistent & always checking up on me, asking if i've been looking for a job. they were even looking for jobs FOR me, in which i applied to some of them. i think i only applied to like 4 jobs or something. i don't really remember.
but anyway, i only heard back from one & got an interview. it was for Canadian Tire for this position called Flex Billing Representative, which is basically accounts receivable/reconciliation stuff. i was really nervous for the interview & i asked a few ppl to pray for me & the interview. i also prayed for the interview. so the interview came along, & when i walked into the interview room, i saw that 3 ppl would be interviewing me. so i was kinda like..whoa! y'know? it was 3 ppl! but the staffing specialist reassured me not to get intimidated & that the interview would be very laid back & answer any questions that i can. told me not to worry if i couldn't answer some of the questions they asked 'cuz they know that my work experience was limited since i only worked in the summers. what was even more cool was the fact that they were considerate of my hearing disability, & told me not to hesitate to ask them to repeat questions if i didn't hear. man, that just blew my mind, i was so impressed by that, i knew right then that i wanted to work for them. i came out of the interview feeling really good, i thought that they liked me & everything. i was confident, & i really thank everyone that prayed for my interview. God really answered those prayers.
so, since i wanted that job, i prayed that i would get it obviously. i wanted it. if Canadian Tire was where God wanted me to be, i would get the job right? well, guess what? God wanted me to be there. got the call on the following Tuesday afternoon. i was ecstatic, called my mom, & emailed the rest of my family tellin' them the good news. it was awesome, God really answered my prayers for this, & it really showed me that He was in control at all times. i mean, how lucky am i. i don't know anyone that has applied to a minimal number of jobs, gets one interview, & then gets the job. that's almost unheard of. God is good! :)
so, i think after all these various events, just looking back in retrospect. i see that, i was never the one in control, it was all God behind the scenes. so today, April 14, 2006 - on Good Friday, as it turns out, i stepped down, i surrendered. the Benson you knew in the last 24yrs prior to this day is dead. he's no more. i'm born anew, as a follower of Christ. Jesus IS my personal saviour.
Jesus died on the cross for me, to save me, to wash away all my sins, just so that i can have a relationship with God & live in eternity. i am a sinner, & i acknowledge that. i pray that God will continuously forgive me for all the sins i commit, & help me to become a better person in turn.
i just wanna give my thanks to everyone out there, to all my brothers & sisters in Christ who have prayed for me, for this day to come. i wanna thank all those who i've had chats with regarding Christianity & have helped me with my walk, my journey & helped me to understand God better when i was confused.
no more sitting on the fence, no more uncertainties of where my faith lies. i can truly say that i am CHRISTIAN! :)
it's about freaking time huh! ;P
it's been a joyous day. :) it's been a GOOD FRIDAY! :D *cheese, i know - peace sign* :D
spun by b at 5:01 a.m.
7 Web Spinners:
haha oh Benson!
YAY!!!
Sooooooooooooooooooooo happy for ya!
But gotta get studying and then t work. We'll talk more later!
YAY! OMG! I AM GOING TO SEE YOU SOON!
YAY!
HUGHUGHGUHGUGHUGUGG!
BIG HUG!
AHHHHHHH!!!!!
:D:D:D
made my day! nothing more to say than...AHHHHHH!!! God is great :) hope to see you soon benson
wow, your blog made me so emotional :S , mostly because of how God decided to answer my prayer in the most specific way - I'll message you about it later (thanks b, you just made a girl cry :P)!
praise God and thanks for sharing your story with us :) keep at the walk, keep searching for answers to questions, and keep growing in Him!
I'm so excited! I just can't hide it!!! :oD
I'm so happy for you, Benson. :oD Really glad to hear that your ankle is all better now! God is most definitely good, all the time!
It's so cool reading about how God has been working His slow and steady ways in your life. And no doubt He will continue doing so. What a LIFE you can look forward to!
See you soon!
hello. howz life?
i am not as extreme as emily so i only got shivers as i read the last (but definitely not least) part of your blog...heh, or was that because slc-3 is usually pretty chilly?
welcome to the family...officially speaking only i guess, since you have always been like a brother
later
JT
hey hey!
=D
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