And, "Oh, it's his lyrical content..."
~ Eminem - The Way I Am
yesterday while i was studying for a test or final, whatever you want to call it, i was listening to my music just so that i wouldn't be falling asleep. i wrote down some of the lyrics that really, i don't know, jumped out at me, or were really catchy to me. so some of these lyrics shouldn't be taken literally. i wonder how songwriters come up with these lyrics!
"I want to get back to where it all began
...
Like a child I'll take You at Your word
As these mountains of doubt, they fade away
I'm longing to trust and love You more
So for me this is beautiful
A brand new thought, and a brand new world
Can I stay here forever here with You?"
~ Starfield - Can I Stay Here Forever
"I want more than just okay, more than just okay
I'm not givin' up, givin' up now
I'm not givin' up, not backing down"
~ Switchfoot - More Than Fine
"So make me a believer for once in my life
Right here and now touch me somehow
Let it be tonight
It's all on the line, i'm down on my knees
I don't know how but i'm ready to see
Clear every shadow of doubt in my mind
'Cause i want to believe"
~ Jake - Believer
"Fly away on my Zephyr
I feel it more then ever
And in this perfect weather
We'll find a place together"
~ Red Hot Chili Peppers - The Zephyr Song
"I have been waiting all my life
...
I'm searching for
I think I've found my way home
...
I am complete now that I've found you"
~ Savage Garden - I Knew I Loved You
"Throw away your television
Time to make this clean decision"
~ Red Hot Chili Peppers - Throw Away Your Television
"Once you know you can never go back
I've got to take it on the otherside"
~ Red Hot Chili Peppers - Otherside
"hello ,hello,hello,how low
hello,hello, hello,how low
hello,hello,hello,how low
hello,hello,hello....."
~ Nirvana - Smells Like Teen Spirit
"It starts with
...
I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
For all this
There's only one thing you should know
I tried so hard and got so far
But in the end, it doesn't even matter"
~ Linkin Park - In The End
"oh tell me why
...
I would hate for you to find somebody new,
Who you really love, cause it would mean losing you.
But am I a fool girl not to see,
if I'm always scared I'll lose you anyway
...
If i told you that I want to be in your life,
then you could be the woman in mine"
~ 98 Degrees - Why
"You don't have to say, what you did,
I already know, I found out from him
...
Now you tell me you need me
Why didn't you call me, on the phone
Girl I refuse, you must have me confused
With some other guy
Your bridges were burned, and now it's your turn
To cry, cry me a river"
~ Justin Timberlake - Cry Me A River
"Here I am humbled by your Majesty
Covered by your grace so free
Here I am, knowing I'm a sinful man
Covered by the blood of the Lamb
Now I've found the greatest love of all is mine
Since you laid down your life
The greatest sacrifice
...
Forgiven so that I can forgive"
~ Delirious - Majesty (Here I Am)
"'Cause there's no living without you
And it feels like I'm losing my mind
...
My pride always gets in the way"
~ Brian McKnight - Get Over You
"Why do I feel like I'm losing control?
...
How can it be that right here with me
There's an angel
It's a miracle
...
When I look into your eyes
I know that it's true
God must of spent
A little more time
On you"
~ 'NSync - God Must Of Spent A Little More Time On You
"If you smiling, that should set the tone"
~ Justin Timberlake - Like I Love You
"But she'd never want to see you sad
Even though I know this hurts so bad
...
And now I hope you realize
That I'll always be there by your side"
~ Craig David - Let Her Go
"And i wonder
Are you thinkin of me
Cuz i'm thinkin of you"
~ BBMak - Back Here
wow, i listen to a lot of sappy songs.. :S
so it's been a couple days since i last updated this thing. starting to notice that i'm not blogging as much as i used to, & seeing that i SHOULD be graduating after this term, i don't see myself blogging very often in the months or years to come.
i've always wanted to use a blog to write down my personal feelings & thoughts, but the only drawback is that this thing is public & anyone can read it. i don't even know who actually reads my blog anymore so i tend to be more reserved on my real thoughts.
do you find it odd that on MSN, ppl are more likely to msg you when you write something negative on your MSN screen name. why not msg when something good is being said, or just MSG the person?
anyway, you want to talk about my feelings? here's the reserved answer. i've been feeling mixed emotions as of late. bittersweetness of graduating. relieved that 2 tests on the same day are over. fear of failing a course. frustrated with lack of communication. in turn, makes me depressed, lost, & scared. but y'know, not everything is negative in my life. there are a few positives: softball goodness, CFC ball hockey, job interview at Canadian Tire, company of friends.
i find that my mood fluctuates a lot. i know that over the past week, i've been pretty "blah" or "meh" for most of it. it was like i didn't give a shit about anything. wasn't smiling at all. there were some smiles, which were genuine, but it was only temporary. i'm not even smiling as i write this. what's there to smile about?
maybe it's finals season, i guess i tend to get a little more depressed around this time of year, twice a year (since finals happen twice a year for most students). studying is just crappy. & it's not like i was studying the best topics either for the past couple days. studying topics such as cheating, jealousy, infidelity, divorce, loneliness, violence, strip clubs, pornography. how does one stay smiling after those topics? they're so depressing to read about. reading about studies of ppl being lonely & stuff like that.
i'm just not happy. the sun's shining, everything just seems to be ok on the surface, but something inside just needs to be reconciled. affirmed. i feel like i'm in a state of disarray. like i'm scrambling to find answers to questions that i MAY be too scared to ask because of fear of hearing what you don't want to hear. maybe i just need a shoulder to cry on & a heartfelt hug.
i think i just need to let it all go. like a massive explosion. but knowing me, it won't happen. i'm one that chooses to keep some things bottled up inside 'cuz that's how i deal with it. whatever "it" may be.
so what's going on?
....
i miss you.
yesterday while i was studying for a test or final, whatever you want to call it, i was listening to my music just so that i wouldn't be falling asleep. i wrote down some of the lyrics that really, i don't know, jumped out at me, or were really catchy to me. so some of these lyrics shouldn't be taken literally. i wonder how songwriters come up with these lyrics!
"I want to get back to where it all began
...
Like a child I'll take You at Your word
As these mountains of doubt, they fade away
I'm longing to trust and love You more
So for me this is beautiful
A brand new thought, and a brand new world
Can I stay here forever here with You?"
~ Starfield - Can I Stay Here Forever
"I want more than just okay, more than just okay
I'm not givin' up, givin' up now
I'm not givin' up, not backing down"
~ Switchfoot - More Than Fine
"So make me a believer for once in my life
Right here and now touch me somehow
Let it be tonight
It's all on the line, i'm down on my knees
I don't know how but i'm ready to see
Clear every shadow of doubt in my mind
'Cause i want to believe"
~ Jake - Believer
"Fly away on my Zephyr
I feel it more then ever
And in this perfect weather
We'll find a place together"
~ Red Hot Chili Peppers - The Zephyr Song
"I have been waiting all my life
...
I'm searching for
I think I've found my way home
...
I am complete now that I've found you"
~ Savage Garden - I Knew I Loved You
"Throw away your television
Time to make this clean decision"
~ Red Hot Chili Peppers - Throw Away Your Television
"Once you know you can never go back
I've got to take it on the otherside"
~ Red Hot Chili Peppers - Otherside
"hello ,hello,hello,how low
hello,hello, hello,how low
hello,hello,hello,how low
hello,hello,hello....."
~ Nirvana - Smells Like Teen Spirit
"It starts with
...
I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
For all this
There's only one thing you should know
I tried so hard and got so far
But in the end, it doesn't even matter"
~ Linkin Park - In The End
"oh tell me why
...
I would hate for you to find somebody new,
Who you really love, cause it would mean losing you.
But am I a fool girl not to see,
if I'm always scared I'll lose you anyway
...
If i told you that I want to be in your life,
then you could be the woman in mine"
~ 98 Degrees - Why
"You don't have to say, what you did,
I already know, I found out from him
...
Now you tell me you need me
Why didn't you call me, on the phone
Girl I refuse, you must have me confused
With some other guy
Your bridges were burned, and now it's your turn
To cry, cry me a river"
~ Justin Timberlake - Cry Me A River
"Here I am humbled by your Majesty
Covered by your grace so free
Here I am, knowing I'm a sinful man
Covered by the blood of the Lamb
Now I've found the greatest love of all is mine
Since you laid down your life
The greatest sacrifice
...
Forgiven so that I can forgive"
~ Delirious - Majesty (Here I Am)
"'Cause there's no living without you
And it feels like I'm losing my mind
...
My pride always gets in the way"
~ Brian McKnight - Get Over You
"Why do I feel like I'm losing control?
...
How can it be that right here with me
There's an angel
It's a miracle
...
When I look into your eyes
I know that it's true
God must of spent
A little more time
On you"
~ 'NSync - God Must Of Spent A Little More Time On You
"If you smiling, that should set the tone"
~ Justin Timberlake - Like I Love You
"But she'd never want to see you sad
Even though I know this hurts so bad
...
And now I hope you realize
That I'll always be there by your side"
~ Craig David - Let Her Go
"And i wonder
Are you thinkin of me
Cuz i'm thinkin of you"
~ BBMak - Back Here
wow, i listen to a lot of sappy songs.. :S
so it's been a couple days since i last updated this thing. starting to notice that i'm not blogging as much as i used to, & seeing that i SHOULD be graduating after this term, i don't see myself blogging very often in the months or years to come.
i've always wanted to use a blog to write down my personal feelings & thoughts, but the only drawback is that this thing is public & anyone can read it. i don't even know who actually reads my blog anymore so i tend to be more reserved on my real thoughts.
do you find it odd that on MSN, ppl are more likely to msg you when you write something negative on your MSN screen name. why not msg when something good is being said, or just MSG the person?
anyway, you want to talk about my feelings? here's the reserved answer. i've been feeling mixed emotions as of late. bittersweetness of graduating. relieved that 2 tests on the same day are over. fear of failing a course. frustrated with lack of communication. in turn, makes me depressed, lost, & scared. but y'know, not everything is negative in my life. there are a few positives: softball goodness, CFC ball hockey, job interview at Canadian Tire, company of friends.
i find that my mood fluctuates a lot. i know that over the past week, i've been pretty "blah" or "meh" for most of it. it was like i didn't give a shit about anything. wasn't smiling at all. there were some smiles, which were genuine, but it was only temporary. i'm not even smiling as i write this. what's there to smile about?
maybe it's finals season, i guess i tend to get a little more depressed around this time of year, twice a year (since finals happen twice a year for most students). studying is just crappy. & it's not like i was studying the best topics either for the past couple days. studying topics such as cheating, jealousy, infidelity, divorce, loneliness, violence, strip clubs, pornography. how does one stay smiling after those topics? they're so depressing to read about. reading about studies of ppl being lonely & stuff like that.
i'm just not happy. the sun's shining, everything just seems to be ok on the surface, but something inside just needs to be reconciled. affirmed. i feel like i'm in a state of disarray. like i'm scrambling to find answers to questions that i MAY be too scared to ask because of fear of hearing what you don't want to hear. maybe i just need a shoulder to cry on & a heartfelt hug.
i think i just need to let it all go. like a massive explosion. but knowing me, it won't happen. i'm one that chooses to keep some things bottled up inside 'cuz that's how i deal with it. whatever "it" may be.
so what's going on?
....
i miss you.
spun by b at 6:19 p.m.
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