The Funnies
well, Valentine's Day has come & gone. i hope all of you ppl who have significant others went out & had a nice celebration for your togetherness. if you have postponed it for another day, well, um..have fun anyway. :)
i spent Valentine's Day alone. actually, no that would be a lie. i spent it with my entire Emotionally Disturbed Child class. :P afterwards, i spent it with my Interpersonal Relations assignment. funny, it was a case study on a couple & we had to use theories we've learned in class to analyze the couple's relationship. i had to do that on Valentine's Day.
anyway, Valentine's Day, not much of a fan of it anyway, although, i would've done something nice anyway. :) i'm not a jerk. but i do believe that it's being way too overcommericalized now. as is with Christmas, Easter, & all these other holidays that can have market value. to me, it just depreciates the whole value & meaning of the special holidays. how come they don't market Good Friday, Civic Holiday, or Labour Day? it's 'cuz there's a lack of a mascot or some symbol. right? no one would want to buy some piece of crap with a employee's face on it for Labour Day right?
anyway. i wanted to follow up on the whole Voice survey i had going on my MSN. if you don't know anything about it, i dunno where you've been then. i had the question up for almost a week on my MSN. here's the final results: 9 ppl heard their friend's voice while they talked to them online, while 11 ppl heard their own voice. 1 had no voice, while another 1 was not sure. all in all, i think i can conclude that it's a pretty even split between the two voices. :) i wonder if there's a study on this at all out there.
finally, i've been waiting for the Men's Olympic hockey to start & they're finally starting tomorrow morning! but i won't be able to watch the game probably 'cuz of morning class. but i'm anxious to see how well they fare against the Italians & what line combos Canada has in store for us. so far, i've heard that Thornton has centered Gagne & Nash for one line, while another line has Sakic centering Draper & Iginla at practice.
Olympic hockey couldn't have come at a better time though, right during reading week! i intend to watch most of their games, & hopefully watch them win the GOLD! GO CANADA! oh, the women's team is just demolishing every team in site!! they've outscored their opponents 36-1 in 3 games! that's crazy! keep it up!!
well back to the topic of school briefly. i found out my final exam schedule today. so crap, it's on April 17th, which is Easter Monday! :S booooo!!!! i have to study over the long weekend!!! but who am i to really complain. i only have one final, & i have 3 weeks to study for it. i shouldn't be complaining. but i'll, & probably everyone else in my family, will expect that i do well on the final since i have THAT much time to study for it.
dododo..going home Wednesday night too! :D
i'll leave off with something i picked off my friend's blog (again, & a different friend). it's funny!
~~
EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY:
Company Policy:
Effective February 01, 2006
Dress Code
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
Personal Days
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
Bereavement Leave
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
Toilet Use
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders category". Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.
Lunch Break
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
i spent Valentine's Day alone. actually, no that would be a lie. i spent it with my entire Emotionally Disturbed Child class. :P afterwards, i spent it with my Interpersonal Relations assignment. funny, it was a case study on a couple & we had to use theories we've learned in class to analyze the couple's relationship. i had to do that on Valentine's Day.
anyway, Valentine's Day, not much of a fan of it anyway, although, i would've done something nice anyway. :) i'm not a jerk. but i do believe that it's being way too overcommericalized now. as is with Christmas, Easter, & all these other holidays that can have market value. to me, it just depreciates the whole value & meaning of the special holidays. how come they don't market Good Friday, Civic Holiday, or Labour Day? it's 'cuz there's a lack of a mascot or some symbol. right? no one would want to buy some piece of crap with a employee's face on it for Labour Day right?
anyway. i wanted to follow up on the whole Voice survey i had going on my MSN. if you don't know anything about it, i dunno where you've been then. i had the question up for almost a week on my MSN. here's the final results: 9 ppl heard their friend's voice while they talked to them online, while 11 ppl heard their own voice. 1 had no voice, while another 1 was not sure. all in all, i think i can conclude that it's a pretty even split between the two voices. :) i wonder if there's a study on this at all out there.
finally, i've been waiting for the Men's Olympic hockey to start & they're finally starting tomorrow morning! but i won't be able to watch the game probably 'cuz of morning class. but i'm anxious to see how well they fare against the Italians & what line combos Canada has in store for us. so far, i've heard that Thornton has centered Gagne & Nash for one line, while another line has Sakic centering Draper & Iginla at practice.
Olympic hockey couldn't have come at a better time though, right during reading week! i intend to watch most of their games, & hopefully watch them win the GOLD! GO CANADA! oh, the women's team is just demolishing every team in site!! they've outscored their opponents 36-1 in 3 games! that's crazy! keep it up!!
well back to the topic of school briefly. i found out my final exam schedule today. so crap, it's on April 17th, which is Easter Monday! :S booooo!!!! i have to study over the long weekend!!! but who am i to really complain. i only have one final, & i have 3 weeks to study for it. i shouldn't be complaining. but i'll, & probably everyone else in my family, will expect that i do well on the final since i have THAT much time to study for it.
dododo..going home Wednesday night too! :D
i'll leave off with something i picked off my friend's blog (again, & a different friend). it's funny!
~~
EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY:
Company Policy:
Effective February 01, 2006
Dress Code
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
Personal Days
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
Bereavement Leave
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
Toilet Use
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders category". Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.
Lunch Break
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
spun by b at 4:59 a.m.
2 Web Spinners:
Haha! That company thing is hilarious! :oD
And go Canadian women's hockey team! WOOHOO!!!
weird that msg doesn't show up...
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