Something I Don't Understand

yeah. that's me. i don't understand myself.

angry. more like a depressed angry. i don't know what it is. but, i'm ok during the day, y'know. like, everything is cool. i'm ok. but then, BOOM, all of a sudden, i can just get frustrated, angry, unhappy. just like that. in a snap of a finger. in a blink of an eye. i can't explain it, it's like a phenomenon that just casts over me. then it's like..leave me the fuck alone.

i just get this RAGE inside of me to just let loose. i feel like screaming. i feel like throwing something with all my might. just heave it somewhere. punch a wall, headbutt wall even. primal. ROAR.

maybe i'm still struggling with something i'm looking for, but the question is: what AM i looking for?

i don't know. i guess i'll keep walking aimlessly until i find it, or until i think i found it.

such is life. sometimes it really sucks POO.

fed up.

just argh...i just want something to go right. something that i can truely feel satisfied with. just..something. anything. a dream fulfilled. no more fantasies. more reality.

no motivation for anything anymore. no passion. i've got nothing.

i think i need a vacation..but no money!