Forging Friendships

This is an article taken from this website: Forging Friendships

In our busy, modern world, we may lose out on day-to-day human contact — our partners work late, we often live at a distance from our families. We can even do our banking, bill paying and shopping on the telephone or over the Internet. So having a good circle of buddies is more important than ever.

Spring is a good opportunity to step back and reflect on our most important friendships.

Good friends are there for you whether you call at four in the afternoon or four in the morning. They confirm that you are likeable and make you feel that your emotions, experiences and observations are important.

And, though your kids, husband and hobbies may provide you with emotional sustenance, there's no substitute for the mutual affection, trust and camaraderie that occurs when great friends get together.

A Friend Indeed?
Because we feel confident around our friends, they can bring out the best in us and provide an opportunity to seek support, shoot the breeze and work through our feelings. But, though some friendships remain in the honeymoon period for life, others become jaded.

You may start to wonder if a friend is still a friend when you no longer have anything in common, feel repeatedly let down or do all the giving in the relationship. If you feel constantly angry, irritated, hurt or uninterested when in contact with a once-close friend, your relationship may have reached its end.

It helps to know what kind of character traits comprise a good friend. Keep an open mind. Okay, so the woman you chat with at yoga seems very new-age and you don't know a soy bean from a lentil. But maybe asking her about her lifestyle could be your first talking point. Conversation can act like a litmus test for new friends.

According to relationship counselor Wynne Simons, 'If you want to make good, supportive life-long friends, look for people who listen as well as talk, are respectful of other people's opinions, take the initiative in organising social outings, have a positive attitude on life, are able to be intimate without being indiscreet and seem to have a similar moral code to yours.'

Friends Till the End
And in the end, no matter how busy you are, you should make the time for friends. 'Don't just tell your friend, 'You know I'm always there for you.' Show her, 'says Simons. 'If she's been sick, invite her over for a few home-cooked meals. If she's depressed, call her often to give her the opportunity to talk.'

Keeping Friendships Alive
There's no excuse for neglecting your friends. You can easily keep in constant touch by:

* Going to the gym or shopping together.
* Buying season tickets to the theatre or enjoying a movie together a couple times each month.
* Sending a quick e-mail or making a quick call to say 'I'm thinking of you.'
* Noting important dates on your calendar, such as your friend's mammogram or work review. Make sure to give her a call to show your support.

But it's not all give, give, give. There are great things to be gained from having good friends.They can always be relied on to:

* Provide a shoulder to cry on.
* Take your fears or upsets seriously and offer great advice.
* Feed your self-esteem with comments about how you're intelligent, attractive or deserving of better treatment.
* Provide a real-life role-model for being a better person, co-worker or friend.
* Watch your kids at a second's notice.
* Enthusiastically coo, 'I love that film!' when you suggest renting You've Got Mail - again!