Bad-Good Day

I haven't blogged in a while. I mean, there were days where I wanted to while I was at work. I'd come up with a topic, and have a lot of stuff in mind to write. I even email myself to remind myself when I get home to write it up, but then, I just never have the time or energy just to sit and write it up. It's happened on two occasions already. But now, the moment has passed, and there's no real point in me writing it anymore, so it's really a waste of a topic.

Oh, and that sermon that I said I was gonna write about...yeah, that's not happening obviously..

But anyway...

Today wasn't that great a day to start off. I woke up to find that my hearing aid has malfunctioned...AGAIN. My hearing aid likes to surprise me in the morning by just dying on me out of the blue. We have a love/hate relationship. It's a good aid, but it just doesn't seem very reliable to me. I don't get it. So now, I'm just wearing my old aid that I thought was broken, but the sound is just terrible. It's very...hollow-y, muffle-y, unsharp sounding. But yeah, I gotta wait until Monday to go in to get it sent to repair. Such a hassle though, but luckily, I took Easter Monday off work.

Anyway, went to the cemetary this morning to visit my great grandparents, and grandparents who have passed on. Then came lunch. I choked on tea. Freaking tea! So I spewed it all back out onto my plate (and luckily not on my pants), but the sheer force of it coming back out and meeting my hands caused my spew to spread over to my sister. It was embarrassing just a tad.

After that moment, I just kinda sat there and said to myself, "Today's not my day." Then I sat there some more, thinking some more..but honestly..this just hasn't been my year. I feel that more "negative" things have outweighed the "positive" things. It's kinda discouraging and depressing. I almost wanted to walk out of the restaurant and just be left alone. I think I actually wanted to just cry (and I almost did at the table). Things just don't seem like they're going "right" for me right now.

I think I've evolved into a different person than I was a year ago. I don't know if anyone can attest to that, but it's just something that I think has happened. If you asked me to explain, I don't know if I would be able to what exactly has changed, but I just feel like a different person. Or maybe it's just my emotions that has influenced my thinking or perception of myself. I think I'm weak and lost. A mess.

Tonight, I went to the Good Friday service at MCBC. Sat in the very last pew. And with my limited hearing, I was barely paying attention to what was being said. Bad, I know, but I couldn't really make out much of what was said. The cantata was kinda interesting, although for some reason, it completely reminded me of Lion King. It was like a medley of Lion King songs but in different words. But that's just me, I'm weird. We were also asked to write on a piece of paper our sins. Wow, big time sinner right here! I had a pretty long list. :S But, I'm human and everyday, I'm trying to be a better man of God, to follow Him wholly, to do His will. With this piece of paper, we nailed it to the cross as a reminder that God sent His one and only son to die for our sins on that cross.

Good Friday also marks one year since I've accepted Christ as my Lord and Saviour. I still remember the day vividly in my head. :) But if you want to be technical, then, one year is really April 14.

Afterwards (like after service and loitering), Alice, Vince, and I headed over to the nearest Tim Horton's/Wendy's just to chat, and it was a good chat. I think my day ended a lot better than it started. Thank God for that, truly.

Tomorrow's the big Leafs/Habs game. If the Habs win, they're in the playoffs! If the Leafs win in regulation, coupled with an Islanders' loss, they're in. If the Leafs win in OT or shootout, and the Islanders' win both their games, they're in. I think that's how it is. Nevertheless.....GO HABS GO! :D